Have you seen the much talked about yet controversial movie ‘Lust Stories’? You know why it was controversial and popular?
That one scene where Kiara is moaning to a breathtaking orgasm as her family members look stupefied. Poor Kiara! Her story resembles so many Indian women who are left faking, ignoring, or struggling in their bedrooms with regards to their sex life.
I believe there is a Vicky Kaushal (Kiara Advani’s onscreen husband who is so neglectful of his wife’s pleasure that he is done in 1..2..3… strokes while his wife stares at the roof). But Kiara is not a damsel in distress, she finally discovers a remote controlled vibrator with the help of her female firebrand of a friend, and after that there was no looking back. She is not just satiated but her body is pulsing (literally!) with a wave after wave of orgasms.
One of the few movies in India that truly had a ‘happy ending’ ;-)
So many of both men and women yearn for a sweet release with or without a partner. And yet so few are able to ask for it, or know what could help or if they do, have the courage or resources to tap into it. Enter the little magic elves- ‘Adult Toys’!!
Well, they are called ‘Toys’ for a reason right? These babies exist to encourage play and enjoy a cosmic sexual trip! Also toys do not discriminate, they are here for you, irrespective of relationship status, gender and orientation. What if we told you, whether you are married, dating, into kink or playing solo, a happy bedroom is only a toy away!
Adult Toys, though, are villainized as ‘unnatural’ or as something queer people use for pleasure or restricted for use during masturbation only. Especially, if you are in a relationship, you may have been reluctant about how to broach the topic of bringing in toys; or are confused about which toys to use; and most importantly at sea about how to use them. Well, we are here to help with all of these, so you can toy away with blissful intimacy. Even with yourself!
What Can Adult Toys Do For You
Both men and women have been biologically gifted with multiple pleasure zones. Quite often in relationships, we tend to follow a well memorised map of each other’s bodies, leading to a routine genital ping pong. But why leave the untapped zones feeling lonely. Even during your masturbatory escapades, have you tried caressing the side of the neck, playing with the nipples,the perineum or maybe even the anus?
Adult Toys help discover the joys of discovering hidden treasures in your bodies. Plus, toys can do what bodies cannot - pulse and vibrate at different speeds and modes. Imagine the surprise your mind can experience in your next solo sesh!
Variety Is The Spice Of Life
Whether you are choosing a toy for the first time or expanding your collection. Whether you want self-love notched up or experience intimacy with your partner unrelished before. With toys, you will never run out of options.
And don’t worry if the plethora overwhelms you right now, this can be a great bonding activity, as you check out options together. We will shed some light into this too, up next!
A Little Help Goes A Long Way
If you face erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, etc., toys can be the friends you need here too! Toys can help you learn to last longer, vibrate and pulse for you to relish orgasms or aid discovery of pleasure zones in your body. All of which adds up to a better understanding of your sexual self and eventual healing.
Partnership With Your Partner
Oh God Yes! It is something that both partners should say to toys. What makes this conversation tough though?
Well, for either partner, it could appear as a ‘lack in their sexual capabilities’. Lack of awareness on toys and their advantages is also a culprit.
Try our tips below to help thaw the ice:
Pick it up when you are in a comfortable space, discussing aspects of your relationship in general and gently slide in. Do not introduce it before/during/after sex!
Never push for the usage of toys! Instead put forward your needs & desires and show your curiosity & excitement. Let it be a request and always allow time and space for your partner to react.
Make it an end-to-end adventure that lets you bond afresh! From educating yourselves, to buying sex toys online or in-store and experimenting. Oof classroom fantasies anyone?!
Toys Toys Everywhere - How To Choose
Cutting to Action! This is your non-exhaustive but overarching introductory guide to Adult Toys 101. But even before we begin delving into the choices, bring your ‘desire’ to the forefront. Have at least a broad knowledge of what turns you on, the kind of sex you like and what you seek from toys. This can set your toy story in the right direction.
If you are a vulva owner, you can choose from:
A favourite among sex toys for women are the Vibrators. Most vibrators in India these days come in tiny, matte-finished, colourful forms. Easy to store and use. They can either be held in your/your partner’s hands or you can choose a hands free version that can cling to your body or wrap around a finger. Some can be controlled by a remote or app!! They vibrate and pulse at varying speeds/modes sending waves of joy through your clitoris, while your partner can simultaneously penetrate you.
These magicians have a beautiful smooth head either for external massaging or internal thrusting in your vulvar region. The internal usage massagers can actually hit your G-spot. Some heads rotate giving you a 360 degree sensational play. And Sex & the City-popularised Rabbit Massagers additionally come with a rabbit head that can simultaneously engage with your clit! Bonus: your partner can use these massagers to stimulate all 7 of your erogenous zones, making them the perfect foreplay toys.
If you are a penis owner, take your pick from:
Tiny rings that gently hug the penis restrict blood flow, as you embrace an erection. This helps in delaying the final release, teasing you and extending playtime. These rings are especially helpful if you face premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.
Male Masturbators / Penis Strokers
These offer a realistic feel of penetration with added stimulation, vibrations and suction, which can be great for solos. They can also help take some pressure off the partner to additionally stimulate you during foreplay.
BDSM Kits including whips, blindfolds, scarves etc. and Anal Play Toys including butt plugs, dildos, anal beads etc. are of course for both to kink away with.
As a thumb rule, materials like silicone and plastic, the ones you’ll commonly encounter are safe to choose. Some others like metal, wood etc. are also making in-roads in safe choices to pick from.
Always start with a medium price range toy which you feel most comfortable about. A trial run with its material, shape and features can help you expand your ambit successfully. You do not end up burning a hole in your pocket on toys that don’t suit you.
Dos And Don’ts
Last but not the least, rounding it up with the rules of the game:
- Lube it up! Be it any toy, lubrication is your pass to a positive toy experience.
- Safety first! Use condoms, dental dams (latex tissues on anus) etc. even on/with toys. We do not wish to play with STIs.
- Small is Beautiful! Also start small (in size, price and features) and gradually step up. Let your body adjust itself.
- Cleanliness! Investing that little extra on toy cleansing sprays, wet wipes and paper towels means your toys last longer, store safely and you do not worry about uninvited redness/ itchiness in your genitalia.
- Ignorance is not Bliss! Read, watch videos, check reviews, ask questions, and know your warranty periods. More is better here.
- Communicate! Let your partner know what you want, how you are feeling and always ask to stop if you are uncomfortable or in pain.