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BDSM. These four letters often excite, create heavy breathing and even bring in sudden memories of that one very popular movie: 50 Shades of Grey. Going by the title, you want to know what BDSM is all about and how it can be introduced in the bedroom, and if you’ve watched the movie we recommend not doing it the way the plot did. Introducing it to the bedroom part- everything was pretty great!
The thought of BDSM Toys may have brought images of leather-clad dominatrixes and whips, maybe even a dark room with very dim lighting. There would also be a sense of mystery which is justified as it is a fascinating and diverse place filled with pleasure and exploration. BDSM can seem forceful and power-hungry but don’t worry. It’s completely consensual and it’s also a fun way to add a lot of spice in the bedroom. Don’t worry we’ll paint the perfect picture for you to explore kink smoothly and excitingly.
We have to get a few Myths outta the way before we get into the bedroom.
BDSM isn’t only about pain and punishment, it’s an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. We know what you’re thinking, that one too many words that don’t fit the acronym.It’s a play on BD-DS-SM, should make sense about now? While it isn’t ONLY only about punishment and pain it’s also about trust and communication. And of course, consent. There is nothing spontaneous about BDSM as some movies *cough cough* might have led you to believe. BDSM as a kink is a lifestyle choice and there is a lot that goes into it.
Now that we think about it, BDSM can be spontaneous with a few activities. Like using handcuffs or blindfolds. But it’s not the whole thing.
HOT TIP: Communication goes a long way
When it comes to doing anything related to sex, communication is a huge part of it. No shade, but if you aren’t going to communicate with your partner you can expect this whole situation to go south. You and your partner need to communicate well and well. Do not assume either of you can read each other's mind, unless of course you know something we don’t. Discuss your desires, limits, and boundaries openly. It’s absolutely important to create a “safe word" too. This would not be something you would forget or say normally in bed. A fan favorite is always “Grandma’s panties”, just kidding, try not to think of your grandma or her panties during activities like this but make the safe word stand out. The safe word would essentially signal any activity to stop. If you’re wondering why would someone want to stop? Well, sometimes it can get intense or consent can be withdrawn. Listen and be attentive to yourself and your partner.
A good bond is all you need!
Bondage involves restraining a partner, either with ropes, cuffs, or other restraints. The Bijoux Indiscrets Shhh Satin Blindfold is very sexy during BDSM moments.
It can be as simple as tying your partner's wrists to the bedposts or creating intricate rope designs for an aesthetic and sensory experience. Since restraining and ropes are involved, it’s safe to assume this requires a lot of safety. Don’t leave a restrained partner unattended and don’t get the restraint too tight as it could cut off circulation. If you want to know what would happen to your partner if left tied up for too long check out the movie Gerald’s Game.
The Dom & Sub Combo
The D and S in BDSM stand for Dominance and Submission. In a BDSM dynamic, the Dominant partner takes control, while the Submissive partner gives up control. Much like the relationship between you and your manager- but a lot more exciting. This dynamic is consensual and can be an exhilarating experience for both players. But remember, it's all about role-play, and respect should always be maintained outside the scene. Sometimes partners naturally play into these roles, so if you’re having trouble deciding who is who just go back to a time outside of the labels. It’s always the person holding the Bijoux Indiscrets Lilly Fringe Whip who is in actual control AKA the dom.
Sadism and Masochism:
S and M, on the other hand, stand for Sadism and Masochism. Sadists derive pleasure from inflicting pain, while masochists find pleasure in receiving it. We know it sounds intense but this does not mean you have to completely give in to these characters and perform all sorts of activities. Start small and explore your boundaries. Jumping straight into the hard stuff can either scare or make your partner feel uncomfortable.
Stay Safe, Silly.
When using toys like floggers, paddles, or any other toys, make sure you're well-informed about proper usage. And never forget the importance of aftercare. It’s like the cherry on top after realizing your chocolate chip brownie was meant to be split with your sibling– cuddling, soothing words, and ensuring emotional well-being is the perfect aftercare routine after a great kink session.
Discover Your Style:
BDSM and mastering it takes time and effort. There will be a lot of hit-or-miss moments but don’t let that dictate the journey. Every experience with a partner will be different until you finally fit into the perfect rhythm. You can explore various elements, from light bondage to exploring dominance and submission roles, and everything in between.
Now for the dirt:
Explore the array of toys and accessories available. Trust us, there’s a lot. Whether it's a feather tickler, a blindfold, or a whip, to start with or butt plugs, dildos, or harnesses to continue, the choices are great. But don’t invest in everything straight away, build your collection based on preferences.
As you explore in your BDSM journey, remember to keep it safe, consensual, and fun. And don’t forget to be silly and explore together. It always makes things a lot easier.
