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Let's admit it, we have all done embarrassing things in our lives, and that till date, makes a peaceful night’s sleep even harder to come by. I wish I could tell you that it was just me who still gets red in the face thinking about whatever happened that unfortunate morning. Last month I was staying at my grandparent’s house and one early morning, at like 5am, I woke up with an infamous case of morning wood. Instead of sleeping it off like I usually do, I decided to watch some porn and get it on. There I was, jacking away to glory when out of nowhere my grandmother walked in to wake me up for morning pooja. I only saw the light from the hallway and her shadow, followed by SO SO many Hey Bhagwans! She ran away screeching at the top of her lungs and returned with my grandfather, who went bat shit crazy on me about the ‘PAAP’ that I had committed in their home. I was really hoping that would be the end of it, but I was later accompanied by both of them to the local temple where they shared this story with all the pundits, who then went on with a ritual to cleanse me, while I sat there now understanding what Cersei had to go through. Worst day of my Life!
This case is just one of many instances when our fantasies fail to live up to their potential. Facts more often are harder to digest. Following sex, masturbation is probably one of the most taboo subjects in our country, and due to the lack of formal sex education, we’ve all grown up hearing crazy stories and fabricated facts about it. From newspapers & (most) magazines, to older cousins & at times even parents, masturbation has always been a big no-no and an uncomfortable topic. We have enough people pass around a lie that it becomes harder to differentiate it from the truth.
Lacking any scientific grounds here are some of these completely ridiculous myths about masturbation that are still doing the rounds as facts:
1. Fiction: Masturbating will give you acne.
Fact: I know of a thousand things that will give you acne, but luckily for you (Yes YOU! I know you have given it a whirl too) there is absolutely no scientific backing to this myth. Eat clean, stay clean and hope that your hormones don’t go bonkers on you. Stressing about acne actually makes it worse! Ever heard of post sex glow? Masturbation actually flushes out toxins and keeps your skin and body healthy! Go ahead help yourself buddy!
2. Fiction: Married people don’t masturbate.
Fact: Ever heard the famous familiar sentence “Honey, not tonight. I have a headache.” Or those unfortunate nights where you have to sleep on the couch? As any married person will tell you, helping yourself remains as much a part of your life even after you have found your life partner. Unfortunately just because you’re married and have someone to have sex with, doesn’t always mean you will get to have. It's not only when you’re not getting any, do you feel the need to fondle yourself; it is perfectly normal for individuals in a couple to explore their body and get some alone time every now and then. This lets individuals get in tune with their body and helps them better guide their partner in the sack.
3. Fiction: Masturbation causes blindness
Fact: Oh how this one always cracks me up! This myth is busted just for the sole reason that if it were true, more than half of the world's population would be blind by now and humanity would have a very difficult choice to make - sexual pleasure or sight. It takes only a shred of common sense to know that sight and sexual pleasure have absolutely no connection.
4. Fiction: Masturbation causes infertility.
Fact: Absolutely not! Doctors around the world will tell you that masturbation does NOT cause infertility. In fact, it doesn’t even affect the chances of you getting pregnant or someone pregnant one day. Men are often told that masturbation wastes your sperm and reduces your chances of starting a family. You need to understand that you don’t have a limited amount of sperm in your body! Your testicles begin producing and storing sperm during puberty, and this sperm production continues throughout much of your adult life. Which means that, even if he's polishing his pocket rocket every day, you still need to pile on the condoms, spermicide and other forms of birth control if you're looking to avoid pregnancy.
5. Fiction: Masturbation kills your sex drive.
Fact: Far from it actually! Getting to know your likes, fantasies and pleasure points is the way to go. The more you know what you want, the better you’ll be able to communicate with your partner.
6. Fiction: Women who masturbate are nymphomaniacs
Fact: Oh the adage of women not having a sex drive! When will we grow up and realize that the majority of the human population wants sex? Period. A woman or a man, teenager or middle aged, everyone wants to have an orgasm, and almost everyone enjoys it equally. Women who masturbate are not sex-crazed nymphos; they’re just more in touch with their sexual side.
7. Fiction: There are no health benefits to masturbation.
Fact: Well, it doesn’t cure cancer but masturbation does have its benefits. Had a long day or just too much on your mind? Masturbation can help reduce stress, which helps with tension and improved sleep. These benefits help improve concentration, self-esteem, fitness and youthful appearance. You can shop some amazing pleasure toys for masturbation for men (click here) and for women (click here)
So now, my better-informed readers, masturbation is a completely normal & healthy activity enjoyed by many of us. All of these myths propagated by society and media are just that, myths. If any of the above were stopping you from getting your ahem, freak on, then my friend I really hope we have ‘helped’ you out. Now helping yourself is in your own hands ;)
