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“Are you faking it?” is a question many Indian women never get asked out loud. But their bodies have been answering it silently for years.
When Durex ran its #OrgasmInequality campaign and quoted that nearly 70% of women in India don’t orgasm every time they have sex, a lot of people were “shocked”.
Most women, though, just nodded and thought, “Yup, sounds about right.” Because for many of us, moaning is easier than explaining, and faking it feels safer than being labelled “too demanding” or “too sexual”.
Why Are So Many Indian Women Faking Orgasms?
Let’s be honest: this “orgasm crisis” didn’t start with a condom ad. It’s been simmering for generations. ThePrint piece on the Durex campaign points out how women’s pleasure has never really been centred in our culture sex is still mostly about the man finishing and rolling over.
From a young age, Indian girls are told:
Don’t talk about sex. Don’t think about orgasms. Don’t touch “down there”.
So by the time we actually start having sex, most of us:
- don’t know how our bodies respond to pleasure
- don’t know that clitoral stimulation, not just penetration, is key
- don’t feel safe saying, “That doesn’t feel good, can we try something else?”
Add to this the pressure to be the “perfect Bharatiya Nari” i.e sweet, sanskari, never “too much”. Even inside the bedroom, that conditioning follows us. Many women say they fake orgasms simply because it’s easier than dealing with a bruised male ego or awkward conversation.
So no, there’s nothing “wrong” with your body if you’re not climaxing from quick, porn-style penetration. There is something off with the way we’ve all been taught (or not taught) about sex.
The Orgasm Gap Isn’t In Your Head, It’s In Our Sex Education
Most school-level “sex education” in India is basically:
- how not to get pregnant
- how not to get STIs
- nothing about pleasure
So women grow up thinking:
“If I didn’t orgasm, maybe I’m frigid, maybe I’m faulty, maybe this is just how it is.”
Here’s the truth your school textbook skipped:
Your clitoris is a powerhouse of pleasure. It has thousands of nerve endings and exists purely for enjoyment. Vaginal penetration alone doesn’t work for a lot of women, and that’s normal. Many women need clitoral stimulation, the right kind of rhythm, mental comfort and enough foreplay to even get close to orgasm. If none of that is happening, your body is not “broken”. The script is.
Solo Pleasure: From Faking It To Figuring It Out
One of the most powerful ways to stop faking it is to first understand what actually feels good to you without performance pressure, without an audience, without judgment. That’s where solo play and sex toys for women become less about “naughtiness” and more about sexual self-education.
If you’ve never explored internal sensations before, something like the Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Balls can be a very gentle starting point. These kegel style balls are designed to sit inside the vagina and engage your pelvic floor muscles as you move. Over time, stronger pelvic muscles can help you feel more intensity during arousal and orgasms. They’re also a fun way to warm up before sex or solo time, especially when paired with clitoral stimulation.
If you’re curious about more options to experiment with, you can always browse the broader kegel balls collection and sex toys for women to see what feels aligned with your comfort level.
The point isn’t “buy a toy and suddenly you’ll cum every time”. The point is:
Take back control of your pleasure. Get to know your own body first.
Let’s Talk About Clitoral + G-Spot Pleasure (Because Penetration Isn’t Everything)
Thanks to movies and porn, a lot of us secretly believe this myth:
“Penis goes in, woman magically moans, both orgasm together. The end.”
In reality, many women need clitoral stimulation + some form of internal stimulation to reach orgasm consistently. That’s why vibrators for women are designed the way they are to give you blended sensations instead of relying on penetration alone.
If you want that classic “dual stimulation” experience, toys like the Meta Rabbit Vibrator and Bswish Bwild Classic Bunny can be game-changers. Both are rabbit vibrators, which means they have a shaft for internal pleasure and a smaller arm that focuses right on the clitoris. You can adjust patterns and speeds till you find a combo that feels like, “Okay, THIS is what my body likes.”
If you’re more curious about exploring the famous internal hot spot, the B Swish Bcute Infinite Curve G-Spot Vibrator is designed exactly for that. It’s curved to nudge the g-spot area gently, which, when combined with clitoral stimulation (using your hand or another toy), can lead to deeper, more intense orgasms for some women. And if your G-spot doesn’t respond much? Totally fine. You’ve still learnt something new about your body.
You can always explore more shapes and sizes in the dedicated g-spot vibrators collection to see what style calls out to you.
For Couples: Why Faking It Kills Intimacy (And How Toys Can Help)
ThePrint discussion around the Durex campaign repeatedly comes back to one word: communication or rather, the lack of it.
Many women don’t talk about what they need in bed as freely as they talk about cramps or mood swings with their girlfriends. There’s still shame, awkwardness, and fear of judgment. So they fake it, just to end the act and escape the tension.
But when you fake it, your partner walks away thinking, “Wow, I nailed it.”
Next time, they repeat the same routine.
You fake again.
And the orgasm gap widens.
If you’re in a relationship and tired of pretending, one gentle way to restart the conversation is to bring in couples sex toys as a shared experiment not as a verdict on anyone’s performance.
A playful option like Lust Stories can be a fun introduction. Think of it as a little “pleasure kit” for couples that says, “Let’s explore together, no pressure.” When you both agree that you’re trying new things, it becomes easier to say what feels nice, what doesn’t, and what you’d like more of.
For couples who want to focus on arousal and erogenous zones beyond just genitals, accessories like the Lux Feather Nipple Clamps can open an entirely new chapter of sensation. Nipple play can be incredibly powerful for many women, and combining light pressure, softness and vibration (if you mix it with a vibrator) can make orgasms more likely or more intense when they do happen.
If this excites you, the wider sex toys for couples collection has all kinds of options to turn “just sex” into an actual shared exploration.
How To Start Talking About Your Pleasure (Without A Big Drama Scene)
You don’t have to sit your partner down with a PowerPoint titled “Why I’ve Been Faking It Since 2019”. You can start small, soft, and honest:
“I love being close to you, but I don’t always orgasm from penetration. Can we try focusing more on foreplay or using a vibrator together?”
or
“I’ve realised my body responds a lot to clitoral stimulation. Can we slow down and experiment a bit more there?”
You Don’t Owe Anyone An Orgasm Performance
Here’s the most important reminder: You are not a bad partner if you don’t orgasm every time. You are not “too much” for wanting more. You are not defective if your body doesn’t respond like a Bollywood climax scene.
What does hurt you, though, is constantly faking it. Every fake orgasm is a tiny lie your body has to hold, and over time, it teaches you that your real needs are inconvenient or “too complicated”.
Instead, imagine this: You explore your own body, maybe with your fingers, maybe with a vibrator, maybe with kegel balls. You learn what kind of touch, speed, and pressure make you melt. You carry that knowledge into your relationships. You talk, you experiment, you laugh, you adjust. Some days you orgasm, some days you don’t, but you always feel respected and seen.
That’s the shift we’re rooting for.
From Faking It To Feeling It
India absolutely has an “orgasm crisis”, but it’s not because women don’t have orgasms; it’s because we’re still not allowed to talk about them openly, honestly, and without shame.
So if you’re one of the 70% who don’t orgasm every time, or one of the many who have faked it just to get it over with, this is your gentle nudge:
- You’re not alone.
- You’re not broken.
- You’re allowed to want more.
Start where you are. Maybe that’s reading more about pleasure. Maybe it’s browsing vibrators for women, g-spot vibrators, kegel balls, or couples sex toys and bookmarking a few that feel exciting, not scary. Maybe it’s one honest conversation with your partner tonight.
Whatever you choose, let it move you one step away from performance and one step closer to real, authentic pleasure.
No more “chalta hai” orgasms. You deserve the full experience.
