36 Dirty Pickup Lines We Hope You Never Use

We generally relate pickup lines with college-goers and drunk men at the bar trying really hard to chat up a woman. We don’t advocate using pickup lines as most of the time, they never come off as original and are deadpan enough not to work!


And when a man tries too hard to win a woman over with cheesy and dirty pickup lines, he easily comes off as desperate. Where some guys using such pickup lines are seen as funny, confident and sociable, some may also seem to be less intelligent and non-trustworthy. You can get away with it if you’re using it in a witty manner – and that also depends a lot on your delivery and the woman’s sense of humor. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if you’re booked a one-way ticket to hell for using a sexually-charged pickup line!


Here are the best of the worst of incredibly dirty pickup lines you must think twice, or may be thrice, before using:

  1. If I flip a coin, what would my chances be of getting a head?
  2. Do you make out with strangers? No? Well, let me introduce myself.
  3. Screw me if I’m wrong, but is that a Dinosaur by the bar?
  4. I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get.
  5. You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  6. Do you have a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.
  7. So, how do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
  8. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
  9. I just made my bed. Want to help me mess it up again?
  10. Has anyone ever told you what a great voice you have? I’m thinking it would sound more beautiful if it were muffled by my dick.
  11. I Just found out the FBI wants to steal my penis. Do you mind if I hide it inside you?
  12. You know what I really like in a woman? My cock.
  13. Do you come here often or do you like to wait until you get home?
  14. Your dad must have been a baker because you have a nice set of buns.
  15. Did you know the human body has 206 bones in it? How would you like it if I gave you one more?
  16. Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
  17. Are you a termite, because you look like you’d like to have a mouth full of wood.
  18. What if I told you that I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus?
  19. My cock just died, do you mind if I bury it in your ass?
  20. Do you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll have to owe you one.
  21. You must work at Subway because you just gave me a “Footlong.”
  22. Why don’t you come here, sit on my lap, and then we can talk about the first thing that pops up?
  23. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into that hotel room across the street.
  24. Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
  25. I’m afraid of the dark. Will you sleep with me tonight?
  26. I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragging my balls across your face later.
  27. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
  28. Honey, I’m like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them soaking wet.
  29. Did you know smiling is the second best thing you can do with your lips?
  30. Would you let me melt in your mouth, not in your hands?
  31. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s just like a French kiss, but takes place down under.
  32. Are you an elevator? Because I really want to go down on you tonight.
  33. You’re like a pile of leaves: I just want to hold my breath and jump in, allergies be damned!
  34. Hi there, we haven’t met. My name is Milk and I’ll do your body good.
  35. What do you like for breakfast?
  36. Would you like to go on an ‘ate’ with me? Don’t worry, I’ll give you the ‘D’ later.


We hope you never have to use sexual pick-up lines, because they are crass, dirty and will definitely up your chance of leaving a bad impression. If you feel that you have certainly no shot with a woman, avoid any of these pickup lines unless what you want is a rejection story to tell your friends. Better take sex toys and forget it.

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